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There are strange things done ‘neath the midnight sun By those who would steal your gold And the Whitehorse cops with their traffic stops Make a tourist’s blood run cold The northern lights have seen queer sights But the queerest they ever did see Was the tourist trap at Fourth and Black And the fleecing of Chucky Bee
Now Chucky Bee was from “Big T” Down along the Rio Grande Where the bluebonnets grow, the longhorns low And oil rigs dot the land But he headed north on April fourth and left the USA On a rutted road with a heavy load Five hundred miles per day The Alaska trail makes grown men wail And women quake with grief But Whitehorse town is well renowned As a place to gain relief So Chucky Bee, far from “Big T” Road weary at day’s end With Jeep in tow left the traffic flow For this town at the river’s bend
At City Hall they made a call To request an overview Of things to see, both paid and free And were shown just what to do They drove away on that fateful day So glad they had made this stop But their joyful bliss received Death’s kiss In the form of a traffic cop From the side of the road like a yellow toad He leapt in front of the Jeep With outstretched paw and gaping maw Pulled Chucky from the street Neither wife nor he, though from “Big T” Ever witnessed such a sight And thought this man with the outstretched hand Was some way not quite right
Soon Constable Mayes with eyes half crazed Withdrew his ticket book And his pen did race at a frantic pace Beneath his frenzied look The pages flew as the charges grew 'Til laws were all expended With a happy look and an empty book His mission there had ended
Now a ticket made is a fine unpaid And tourists are easy prey For the greedy men who with pad and pen Would steal their gold away But Chucky Bee like all from “Big T” Lives by the law of the feud And will react to any attack From those who are mean and rude
So just to spite he decided to write Of his treatment in Whitehorse town How the local cops with their traffic stops Fleece the touring crowd They’ll steal the gold of young and old With a smile upon their face And so I say, “Stay away! Stay away!“ From this dreadful desolate place
There are strange things done ‘neath the midnight sun By those who would steal your gold And the Whitehorse cops with their traffic stops Make a tourist’s blood run cold The northern lights have seen queer sights But the queerest they ever did see Was the tourist trap at Fourth and Black And the fleecing of Chucky Bee |
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