The Ballad of Jim Bomberg
(sung to the tune of Kenny Rogers’ “Gambler”)

You gotta know when to sail
Know when to berth it
Know when to tack and jibe
And when to let it be
Never pick up flotsam
That’s floatin’ in the ocean
And never save Jim Bomberg
From the perils of the sea

Verse 1:
On a warm windy day
From a beach in San Carlos
I jumped into my Laser
And headed out to sea
Then the sky turned dark and ghostly
I turned and looked behind me
And there I saw Jim Bomberg
Just a’lookin’ back at me
Well the wind it was a’blowin’
But my boat just wasn’t goin’
I thought I had my anchor down
So I reached to set it free
But crawlin’ o’er my freeboard
Was a wet and windblown Bomberg
I helped him board and then I saw
He was naked as could be

Verse 2:
So I handed him the rudder
Then he began to mutter
He might be speakin’ Spanish
But it sounded Greek to me
His hands began to wavin’
He was strange behavin’
I heard the crack, then saw my sail
Was floatin’ in the sea
Well I found myself a’driftin’
All alone but for Jim Bomberg
In a one man boat that now was filled
With Nature Boy and me
The sharks began to circle
And the land grew very distant
I knew my life would end with Bomberg
Smilin’ down at me

Verse 3:
The day was growin’ colder
And he was growin’ bolder
He started closing distance
Between himself and me
So I grabbed a broken paddle
And set myself to whack him
But a sudden jolt then told me
We’d been rescued from the sea
I found that we had drifted
To Honeymoon Island
With battered boat and broken mast
I felt lucky as could be
But standing there beside me
Was a grinning naked Bomberg
That Cheshire look was all it took
(Mark substitutes "evil" for "Cheshire" when singing this song)
I jumped back into the sea